22

Ok, so I acted out in my addiction this morning. I viewed pornography.

I think the order in which I started my day was not ideal. I certainly didn’t take time to reflect or consider where I am at before getting going. I am still not fully ready for the day even though I have gotten a couple things done. I need to prioritize the type of morning activities that will get me off to a good start rather than just starting on things and realizing after the fact that I wasted time.

I have an addiction to pornography. I am on day 0 of recovery. It started with a 5 minute session of viewing porn, and then I avoided it for a good couple hours before diving into 2 more sessions of about 30 minutes each. I am hoping I can shake it off for the rest of the day and week. If I can write in here and remember where I am at and what I am trying to do here perhaps I can keep myself from floundering again today.

What I should have done after that first session is get out of my chair and reset. I am going to do that reset now. This is a bummer but I haven’t yet felt the weight of the bummer. It doesn’t feel too huge because my sobriety was relatively short, but every bit of sobriety I lose definitely hurts.

Routine is essential, I need to work on that.