Category Archives: Uncategorized

Ok, so I am starting to think that this blog is making things worse for me. I write in here rather than telling someone, knowing that nobody is reading it. In that way I am keeping it a secret not telling someone else. So, I think it just increases the problem. It takes real connectionContinue reading “29”

I am trying to recover from my addiction. I have an addiction. It’s so weird to think that my brain is actually physically different because I have succumbed to my desire to view pornography so many times in the past. I have used it as an escape mechanism or as a way to have temporaryContinue reading “28”

I am reporting here because I haven’t had the gumption to go and find a person to report to. This is something I will still need to do. In the meantime, reporting here should give me a way to daily express where I am in my recovery. Right now I am not in a greatContinue reading “27”

Yesterday I did some additional indulgence in pornography. It was to a lesser extent but I was definitely viewing things and thinking things that were of a sexual nature in order to cope with feelings I wasn’t willing to deal with. I am reporting here as an attempt to be fully honest with myself andContinue reading “26”

Well, I have been indulging in pornography a great deal lately. It’s been sessions weekly or more for a while. It’s critical to be humble and to be honest. I am not being honest in every aspect of my life as I am lying to people I love. I can at least be honest onContinue reading “25”

Ok, today is now day 0. I just viewed pornography again.

Well, I viewed pornography yesterday. That makes today day 1. It’s hard to determine what my acting out schedule has been the last month since I haven’t written in here for that long. It’s been off and on. Pretty awful state of things. Writing on here is going to be necessary though to help meContinue reading “23”

Ok, so I acted out in my addiction this morning. I viewed pornography. I think the order in which I started my day was not ideal. I certainly didn’t take time to reflect or consider where I am at before getting going. I am still not fully ready for the day even though I haveContinue reading “22”

Ok, so I should have written here the last couple days, but it was a busy weekend! I get easily off track with random research and projects, as well as holiday weekends or weekends in general make me feel like I don’t have time for this stuff. But, I do and I could have fitContinue reading “21”

I wasn’t good this morning about starting off my time right. I should have done this earlier. I only have a couple minutes, so I just am taking this time to remember I have a sexual addiction and I need to focus on keeping a clear head and evaluating my emotions. I need to beContinue reading “20”